I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
