I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
