There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize