So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wish you could order shots online.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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