I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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