is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
