Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
