I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
