he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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