Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
