the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
