just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
