I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
