I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
