my sisters under your porch take her home
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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