Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
