Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
