Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
