I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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