The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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