People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My breasts were aching with rage.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
