Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
