Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
