Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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