you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
