I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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