She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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