i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize