Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
