I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
