her vagine was all disorganized.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
