Betty ford says i'm here all night
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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