If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
