I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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