she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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