oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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