I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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