Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
