I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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