no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
