just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
