Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
