Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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