Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
