I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
