If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So. Much. Porn.
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