CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize