They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
