is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
