I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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