Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
