Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
