So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
