is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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