In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
