i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
