Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize