your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
