I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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