i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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